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Julian Gillespie's avatar

Big Pharma picks up his desk phone .. his secretary, Cheryl, answers on the other end: "Yes, Sir"

Big Pharma: "Get a memo off to Daryl in marketing quick-smart .. the following words, and mark it bloody urgent .. now take this down: 'Daryl, you useless meat sack, that bloody Barnett is blowing us up again with the bloody truth. Got Aussies wondering whether the Immunisation schedule we pay millions in kick-backs to politicians for, is legit or not. Next they'll find out so-called childhood diseases were all but eradicated before we got the silly buggers believing they needed our needles. Send a note to Mark Butler telling him to call anyone questioning the immunisation schedule a child killer or something, and being un-Australian. Murdoch's journos are well-on the leash to never question the vaccine science we bought and paid for, but these bloody independent buggers .. we could end up with a rash of healthy kids if parents read too much and kick their kids off our juice. Healthy kids are bad for future business. Send that bloody useless Albo a note as well, telling him he's gotta get pictured being pumped with our latest flu juice, pronto, and if he starts whinging tell him he can have saline again .. But Daryl, give him the real thing, then tell him later .. I want to hear him going berko at me down the phone later for kicks, the sniffling little lick spittle. Lastly, Daryl, if I don't see parents frightened and scared again within the next two months and running to fill their little monkey kids with our juice, your head will be on the block .. signed, Your Bloody Boss, Daryl, Your Bloody Boss."

Big Pharma: "You get all that Cheryl?"

Cheryl: "Yes Sir"

Big Pharma: "One more thing .. Send all employees the following.. : "Any employees found reading Dystopian Down Under will be fired immediately, signed, Your Bloody Boss" .. Did you get that sweet cheeks?"

Cheryl: "Yes Sir, sending out immediately"

Big Pharma: "Good girl, now call up my Natural Medicines therapist and tell her to get over here quick, my herbal hooch is running out and I want to talk about high dose intravenous vitamin C later this week .. and get her to throw in a good amount of vitamin D .. that stuffs gold for everything .." (silence .. silence .. silence)

Cheryl: "Sir, are you still there Sir?"

Big Pharma: "Shadup Cheryl, Your Bloody Boss is thinking and likes to do it in silence .."

Cheryl: *sphincter pinches*

Big Pharma: "Might as well get another memo out Cheryl .. this time to Legal .. take this down, quote: "Legal Department, my little evil lackeys that enable me to laugh at the law .. Who wants to go to Italy? .. joking, none of you cretins are going anywhere .. instead, here are your instructions: get that idiot politician's son in Sales we had to hire, dress him up and give him a script to act like a Natural Medicines billionaire .. work-up a website for a dummy health food and natural meds company, and make it look like its been in his family for generations .. then get him off to that wog farmer in Italy, the one with that A-grade oregano essential oil, the stuff we tested works better than our penicillin tablets .. and get the Sales kid to make him an offer he can't refuse .. for the whole farm .. meaning .. the eye-talian has to bugger off too, and agree never to farm oregano oil ever again .. i repeat .. NEVER AGAIN ANYWHERE EVER .. so long as he thinks our kid's dummy company is going to promote his essential oil to the world, he'll be sweet and sign .. once the ink has dried move in the tractors and bury the whole crop .. stick some olive oil trees in instead .. and get rid of all traces oregano essential oil was ever made there .. we must protect our penicillin market at all costs .. speak to Accounts and get them to write-off the whole acquisition as failed R&D into natural therapies, and get that payroll Uni professor to write-up a peer review paper with test results concluding the farm's essential oil proved ineffective at treating bacteria and fungal infections and had zero antioxidant properties, compared to our penicillin .. if the professor complains that isn't the truth, threaten to withdraw his research funding .. and contact The Lancet and make sure the right guys get his paper published .. without that we can't write the whole farm off for a loss .. signed, Your Bloody Boss .. P.S. .. get a researcher to check whether casting aspersions on the Oz immunisation schedule and kids vaccines can be sanctioned or censored .. or better still, prosecuted with jail time .. that would be great .. perhaps call up that eSafety Commissioner bird .. the one the Yanks sent over to help us .. ask if she can't trump something up against this Barnett broad .. I don't know .. endangering public safety or health or something .. at all costs our 'vaccines are good' pharma lore must prevail .. signed again, Your Blood Boss who wants your results Yesterday .. .. OK, finished .. did you get all that Cheryl?"

Cheryl: "Yes Sir .. will there be anything else Sir?"

Big Pharma: "No Cheryl .. but I do want to hear you repeat after me: I am the god of Safe and Effective"

Cheryl: "Yes Sir .. You are the god of Safe and Effective .. thank you Sir"

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Noel's avatar

Our institutions no longer deserve our trust or support, they are no longer able to be held to account. Outcomes, because the buck stops with no one, become irrelevant. The only thing left is process to which we must all comply. Compliance to process, regardless of outcome is now the only acceptable view to be held in the community. Until decision makers are publicly held to account for their actions absolutely nothing will change.

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