A personal note
My company, who I shall leave unnamed, made a big show of R U OK day today. Orange and black balloons flying. Iced cake fit for 200. Spiel by the area manager.
They posted an R U OK thread on the internal comms forum. It filled up quickly with ways employees were not ok. Within 1 hour, many of those comments were deleted. Within 4 hours, all comments were deleted and further comments banned.
I felt this was a suitable metaphor for what many of us have been through in the last 2 years.
Great post. I was most definitely NOT ok from the moment the jab frenzy started here in Melbourne in about May, 2021 to about October 2021. I nearly lost my mind. The enormity of what was going on shocked me in a way that I never thought possible. I could feel a kind of oppressive malevolence in the atmosphere. It was surreal. Today, I am still not ok, but have come to accept that something truly diabolical is going on and I need to think about ways to actively resist without being shot out of the sky. Nothing is remotely normal and yet most people I know seem to be shuffling around pretending it is still 2019.
I think we underestimate the adjustment disorder that results from the clear and irrefutable realization that the world is not what it seemed. I have had mistrust of drug companies and public health for decades, but was shocked at the depth of depravity and the realization that all these other organizations and the judiciary are captured. Once you get past attempts at denial its a big adjustment in your world view!
Love your post. But isn’t this the elephant in the room. Nobody wants to admit they are not ok. It’s like we all have to be tripping down the yellow brick road in eternal sunshine. The reactions of your friends is interesting and something I have also experienced. It goes ‘I don’t want to know in case I get infected by whatever you’re going through’. Still hopefully it sorts the wheat from the chaff and what remains are genuine friends. And aren’t they a dwindling cohort!
To say I was not OK for most of 2021 would be an understatement. It was my Annus horribilis. I developed temporary heart arrythmia, my cat of almost 19 years died, governments were oppressive, business took a dive and people were generally just HORRIBLE - including friends, family, teachers and other government officials, work personnel, random people; you name it.
I still had my sanity because my hubby and I are on the same page, and a few of my patients were, too, but otherwise it was the worst year of my life. I home-schooled the kids, I closed my practice in early 2022 and my hubby & I decided to quit our jobs of 16 years, sell our property and move 1000km away! I had to fight to seemingly just lose a few things, but better to lose my business, home and lame people in my life - by choice in the end - than to lose my bodily sovereignty, my own family and my sanity!
I never want to repeat 2021. But it DOES repeat in some ways because now I know what people are really like: now I know what stuff they're truly made of. And that does NOT sit well with me because it makes me very distrustful of a positive future. So now I somehow try to figure out ways forward for myself and my family knowing 99%+ of teachers & health professionals have been jabbed, most other workers have been jabbed, most people still have NO IDEA, the economy is failing and things are basically just screwed. Great time and place to raise your kids, hey?! :-(
But, great threats can produce terrific rewards. Victorian, locked out of everything, wondering if I'd be locked out food shops, I did look to shore up provisions. Our shed was full of Fowler's preserving jars from various deceased estates, and I thought, "we have a plum tree, why not get into it"?
Seven months later... I had to defer posting for 10 mins while I finished a bowl of the Most Divine plums in a heavenly light syrup that only 2 and a half hours of warming at 160degF (the bottles came with instructions from 1913) could produce.
I might have made 40 jars of plums, plus pickled plums and brandy plums, plum sauce and plum jam.
If any of you anti-vaxers are locked out of the shops in the future, short of food, I have a lot of plums.
Thank you very, very much for this open and vulnerable post. I have been through much the same experience. I definitely went close to falling off the deep end in the middle of the mandates; i alienated some people; I just remember this almost insane level of stress inside me that would erupt out of me at times like a volcano.
Thankfully I had a small group of friends who stood by me and prayed for me and helped me through.
I think it is hard for those who complied to understand or even imagine what it’s like to suddenly be banned from entering your workplace etc, to be banned from nearly every corporate human activity, and be left without an income. Ordinary people’s compliance in Western Australia was shocking and extremely distressing.
The key to healing, though, is forgiveness - and to truly forgive means to understand that the person who did something to us don’t deserve to be forgiven - but to forgive them anyway.
Just as we ourselves don’t deserve to be forgiven, for the wrongs we have done.
I believe this attitude of loving forgiveness is at the heart of the whole universe, actually - Christ on the cross saying “forgive them Father for they don’t know what they’re doing” - which is His attitude towards us and those who have wronged us. Praying for you Rebekah.
Thanks for sharing this Rebekah, I had not read it before today. I find R U Ok is similar to Diversity and Inclusion where there is a limited number of acceptable issues that are to be inclusive and other are not, as there are only a certain amount of issues you are "allowed" to be not Ok with.
Keep coming back to your post. Has really struck a chord. That being, nobody wants to acknowledge what is going on in somebody else. Why? Embarrassment? Too messy? Don’t burst my bubble? The reality is that many have chosen to compartmentalise and disengage from our fellow human beings. But on the other hand the most meaningful encounters I’ve had of late have been with strangers when I comment on “what is”, usually something trivial. The response is usually a simple “me too”.
The quote “the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another“ strikes to the core of this modern day disengagement. I’m about to loose another couple of friends in my dwindling cohort of friends for calling out their smug self centred rudeness. Bottom line....they just don’t want to know. And I’m not talking about the vaccine. I refuse to even go there. They are ‘invested’ and nothing will change their minds. I used to think it was only my parents generation who believed every word that Menzies uttered. Nope, nothing has changed. Does nobody do the research or think for themselves? Yep, it’s lonely out there. Luckily I’m pretty used to it. Thank god I discovered twitter and various substacks. I find like minded people in the comments. Kept me sane.
No properly thinking person can be ok after all that we've been able to learn about the lies told by our so called governments.
How can we be ok when we're not allowed to reveal the truth?
How can we ok when we know that government is trying to reduce the population [life expectancy] via toxic jabs even though they've raised the retirement age?
How can we be ok when we still haven't figured out how to turn things around in our favor?
Very well-expressed. Love from your trying-her darnedest-to-stay-sane friend in SF 💗
Rebekah, I'm glad that you are currently & generally OK 😊👍
Being so cometely immersed in what are colossally disturbing issues, we need frequent breaks to take the edge off. Hoping you continue to improve. Keep up the amazing work!!
Goodness me, Rebekah this is magnificent!
Friends?! I think I'm falling in (platonic, of course) love with you! ;-)
Wholly bejeezus your second paragraph describes me toooo a teee - to this very day.
Maybe Im not OK... hmmm. I feel fine - ANGRY - but fine. I should be angry. You should be angry.
The mediocre and morons have gotten into positions of power and are dictating moronic values. I didn't do this. Society did this. They make choices to signal their virtue with zero thought of consequences. The cost of this going to undermine our civilization and its only just begun.
We should all be incredibly angry. Angry and horribly disappointed.
Forgive yes! Forgive because its vitally important to your fundamental well being but please do not forget. We cannot allow people to damage us in multiple ways and just forget.
The mediocre morons are in power, they will literally kill you to stay in power, and this isn't over by any measure.
Couldn’t have put it better myself!
Rebekah, I just read your very honest account of your experience above. Thank you for this.
As I read this, I wanted to encourage you with a few thoughts as someone who lived abuse and gaslighting for many years through the family court system (in NZ) while trying to protect my son as my ex-husbands alcoholism went from a hidden functional state - to a slow train wreck - to one final emergency admission and death. He was a very damaged individual and sadly had probably been abused in his younger years.....however it was the family court system that eroded my trust and very nearly broke me.
I'm not asking for sympathy or compassion at all in mentioning this as I know that I am stronger, wiser and less gullible now.....it was years ago (plus I also had to grow and change a lot).
I simply mention this past experience as it has made me sensitive to others pain. My heart wept for you as I read how devastating it has been for you to feel so vulnerable and powerless and enraged by it all. I have also felt these things recently but, in a perverse way, my previous experience years ago prepared me. In many ways, I found that experience eerily similar to what we experienced in Australia over these last few years. I live in Perth WA now so I understand much of what you went through.
May I offer some thoughts for you to consider:
1. You have NOTHING to apologise for and owe nobody an explanation for your sense of rage, frustration or feelings of hopelessness. I think that writing about it is an amazing outlet for you to process your experience and feelings and you are incredibly gifted in your journalism skills. I am grateful you chose to share your unique journey through this hellscape of tyranny since 2020.....I believe it will help many. However, do not think for a minute that your thoughts and feelings were irrational. Again, you have nothing to apologise for so please don't wear anyone else's expectations of how you should think, feel or act. Your reactions to all the covid madness and aftermath are normal and should be the appropriate response if someone is awake to what was really going on. It was brutal and evil. FULLSTOP!!!
2. There are those who will never understand or respect your perspective and actions. Some don't know how to, some are cowardly, and some just don't care. It's sad but let them go. You did your best to reveal the truth and warn others. You may be pleasantly surprised later down the track to discover there were many that admired your passion and courage - they just didn't verbalise it to you at the time.
3. You have been like a lighthouse withstanding the constant, relentless waves in a storm. You are stronger than you realise and you shone the light so others could navigate through. A lighthouse doesn't get a lot of thanks......there is a presumption by many that it will always stand strong. But even a lighthouse needs repairs in fair weather and the lighthouse keeper needs time off too.
Pretty obvious thoughts and not profound.
4. This is not yet over.....rest up and prepare accordingly. The 'rats' may get pretty frenzied and irrational as they try to preserve themselves on their sinking pirate ships. We need more lighthouses to shine the light and expose them and the jagged rocks they tried to steer the rest of humanity into. More people need to speak up and unite against the lies and tyranny (and damn, I've mixed all my metaphors).
Rebekah, we love and appreciate you.
I would be honoured to share my phone number with you privately if you ever need extra support. Even just an ear or a mum type hug.
- Gill (I don't care who knows who I am any more)